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Life fell to insanity
Angel wing

 Recently all of my fears realized, all of my pains deepened. And with the realization that everything that I claim as happiness is a lie. Cuts worse of all, I  try to put on a happy face but I find my smile isn't the same. 

It's not a simple fix. No kind words will make me forgive, There is no respect, no caring nature that can make this wound heal like super glue to steel I am trying to see how long I can hold. Before I realize it's just too cold to sit on the side and let my confidence decide, to fall off the grid and lose my self, or to just walk away and hope it will awaken. 

A travesty, A pain that is this deep can kill me. I feel like this emptiness can surface, 

Everyone looks at me like an idiot for being controlled and manipulated like this. I feel like I am trapped all of the time. How can I be so stupid. 


Is the change actually real? Everyone reverts back to who they truly are, you cannot truly change. that is the problem. I cannot change who i am. deep in myself i am strong and Independent. and my life needs to be something I am proud of living.

I don't want to be a burden. I don't want to be babysat, I don't want to be afraid to do what I want in order to avoid someone getting mad at me. I am tired of not being trusted, I am tired of not being cared about till it's too late, I am tired of trying. I keep clawing and I keep falling. I need time away. I need to feel freedom.  



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